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| Got you, you little brat! |
Some days being a dad is a blast! The kids enjoy being with me and I enjoy seeing them have a good time. It brings me joy and I am inspired to be a better father and make the most of the years I have with my little children.
However, I must confess there are days I wish I could do over. Days when I have to play the bad guy, when I have to raise my voice or punish, when I respond to their disobedience and bad attitudes by giving them a day filled with tears.
When I find out that bad behavior is going on and I try to find out the details, it turns into a dramatic situation. It is kind of like when you watch a show on TV and the interrogation begins and you have the old good cop, bad cop routine going on.
I ask one, usually the crier "What happened?" and then move on to the culprit. Asking the questions and demonstrating with angry gestures how mad I am. e.g. ANGRY FACE, HANDS FLAILING, FOOT STOMP, etc.
Other times I will sit the culprit on my knee and talk to them sweetly and promise a reward for their change in behavior. An example being, "I know you did something wrong and I know you want to do the right thing, in fact, if you leave your sister alone and be good for the rest of the night I will bring you a treat home from work tomorrow."
The approach really depends on the situation, and I am sure I probably go against every book on "child raising" the way I parent. Yet it works for now, and the more I see my girls mature the more I realize I need to modify my approach as well.
The key I think is growing together with your children, not trying to raise them perfectly. If you stay flexible as a parent you will be able to understand your children and speak into their lives with more impact when the times comes. Well that is my hope at least.
So again as I watch them go to sleep as I type this, I wonder what kind of daddy I will be tomorrow. Good Dad or Bad Dad? Recently I am little tired of having to play the bad guy...but somebody has to do it, right?
Hi Stephen, every parent has good and bad days. Every child is a different person who will respond to a different parent. You have three girls you will need to be three different parents. I told my child when she was an adult. Anything that I did right duplicate anything I did wrong change. Do not get stuck with my mistakes.
ReplyDeleteSo don't be too hard on yourself, your girls will understand as long as you parent them with love and consistency. Be well
Stephen-sounds like you're a wonderful father and are doing a great job. I always hated disciplining my daughter, in fact I think I was incapable of it, so I raised a real hellion. She gets into a mess of trouble, but she's a free spirit and an independent thinker, and there's something to be said for that.
ReplyDeleteAn enthusiastic male blogger who has devoted a whole blog for his kids, does not seem to be a bad dad to me.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you handle your kids. Sometimes, promising them treats and other times you have to show your anger. I think you have got the perfect techniques.
I have seen so many Mom Blogs and I am glad to have discovered a Father Blog.
Best wishes for you and your loving kids.
Eyewitness
Great post. I think it's very important to stay flexible when raising your daughters, and no one is perfect; it sounds like you are doing an amazing job to me.
ReplyDeleteThey will keep changing and you will have to keep adapting, but by the sounds of it, it seems like it's something that just comes natural for you. Good luck!