One Last Trip to the Beach

With all the chaos that has happened our summer fun time this year was pretty limited. Usually we would often go to the beach about a 2 hour drive away during summer vacation but not this year.

On a warm autumn day we took one last trip down to the beach of the Boso Peninsula. Still the fear of another tsunami had me planning escape routes as the girls pounced around the seashore. We have taken the children to very few places this year, especially involving the outdoors for obvious reasons. Radiation being another one of them.

The girls love the beach and love the water and it was difficult to keep them from jumping in.  Although they did get their feet quite wet. Afterward we warmed up in Ashi-yu or in other words took a foot bath. 

It felt very nice. Ahhhh I want to go back

Cana enjoying the warm foot bath after walking on the beach.

As this video shows the girls were very excited and I am trying to make sure they are okay, especially Cana who is always trying to keep up.

We ate dinner at the restaurant over looking the ocean and stayed till the evening.  We dined on fresh sushi and shellfish from the water below and counted our blessings as we enoyed the meal and atmosphere.

We are certainly going to miss places like these...

Growing Girls

The girls on the lawn by the outside food area at Costco, Japan

The girls are getting heavy, I carry them to bed sometimes and it really is getting difficult. They do more, eat more and energy seems to be unlimited. Meanwhile mommy and daddy are trying to recover our strength whenever we can get the chance. 

When they play together it feels like heaven, when they are fighting, or annoying one another and making messes it feels like a nightmare. Guess which one we experience more often.

All three girls are at different ages and different stages. It is quite difficult to manage and rarely do we have solo time with them to check on their "progress". The way mommy and daddy treat the group versus one on one is quite different. In a one on one opportunity we either discipline, encourage or instruct and this happens occasionally.  However, most of the time the girls are in the same room and it is somewhat hard to tell whether they are playing together or seperately.  Well unless somebody starts crying and the parents have to once again investigate. They go back and forth freely making a team of three and then two and then playing by themselves. It is like watching some sort of chemical reaction with a lot of energy being released.

The girls playing a pogo stick jumping game at an arcade in Yachiyo, Chiba

Just as they are growing I too feel like I am growing in my capacity as a parent and my understanding of the dynamics of raising children.  Growing children are always learning and teaching each other as well. Even if it is mistaken. Children enjoy teaching each other things and sometimes I have great joy in watching them tell each other stories or teach a song or dance to one another.  And isn`t that what life is all about?

"GROWING"



Learning to Label

Drawing by Anna on the chair. She tried to hide it with her hand while doodling it during our conversation.

Recently we have been catching Anna writing with marker on things. It first started with drawings of characters she likes, or creative portraits of her and her sisters, but now she is writing labels on things. Like Anna`s cup, Everybody`s chair, and the like. She is learning the fun of labeling and it is getting a little out of control.

My first reaction is to sigh and get angry with the fact that she hasn`t stopped even though she has been warned, but then I step back.

In her world objects have little or no value. She doesn`t know the price of the chair or cup or book. To her they are just things and things have a purpose and that is for people. The innocence of her actions tell me that for her it is important to know who is using or should use those objects.

At such a young age it starts with labeling your stuff but soon it moves to labeling people and places. And that can become a tricky subject to say the least.

But it has begun, she is developing the ability to clearly label the world around her. Now comes an important time as a parent to guide her and help her understand such concepts and teach her in the way she should go.

I am in awe of it all, like watching a flower blossom. But also aware I need to protect that precious flower within her.

Thanks for reading

Manna, in her own world



Manna is the middle child and since being born has probably suffered the most out of all our children.  She had to have surgery to open her tear duct before she was even one year old.  She has suffered from asthma and was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia before turning two years old.  She has fallen down the stairs more than once.  She has fallen chipping teeth, scraping and bruising her very white skin more times than I can count.  Recently she had a bad accident and had to be taken in an ambulance to the hospital to stitch her Achilles heel. A week later she had chicken pox all over her face and her body. She still has a way to go to recover...

It has been hard to see her go through so much, she is still only 4 years old!  She sometimes prays for it to go away, or for her sisters that they won`t get sick or hurt like her.  The experiences of her life already have put her in an almost completely different world than other children. 

She is still silly and loves to dance and run around and jump on her daddy`s back.  Yet she knows real pain, real suffering for a four year old.  She has empathy from it already.  I hate to watch her suffer, but I hope that somehow it can be used and be a blessing to many.

She is growing in her understanding of her own world.  And with that understanding there is a special wisdom.  At times she can say the most encouraging of things even to me.  The other day she told me that she can give her best because she sees me try my best everyday.  She told me not to worry about her because she would give her best effort not to cry because she doesn`t see me cry even when it hurts.

Cana from baby to little girl

Karaoke is something we try to do from time to time.  The girls love it!

It seems like Cana has been the baby for the longest time.  But recently she is becoming more and more like a little girl.  The fact that I can converse with her and have an actual dialogue even though she is still only 2 years old is still something I am trying to fathom. 

She is in a stage of growth, the once angelic persona is often mixed with tantrums and unexplained crying sessions.  Something is definitely going on inside, something is developing within her. Yet I am still amazed that she will heed our words.  She will put up a fight but it appears she thinks it through and eventually returns with affection. 

Describing Cana one thing I have to say is that she pays close attention to those around her.  She often will pick up on non-verbal cues or even on dialogue and respond by helping or being the first to jump in the bath tub, etc.  Most of the time we rarely have to persuade or ask her to do much.  This is something that the other two do not come by naturally.  Seeing the differences and similarities in my children makes me reflect on the fact that part of me is in them too. 

Am I looking at a part of myself when I look at them?...when I look at Cana?  Of course I would like to take the credit for the good behavior and shun the bad, but the truth is probably the opposite.

Things Change...

Picture of our backyard last summer.  We grew quite a few plants in our small plot of land.  The sunflowers got real tall.  Those were happy times.

Looking back at the days gone by and browsing through pictures a smile comes across my face and along with it my eyes become a little watery.  Our life in Japan these days is very different for a lot of reasons.  After the earthquake we were forced to move.  The house that we spent the last couple years raising our three daughters is no longer.

I drove by a few weeks ago and was shocked to see what used to be our home completely gone. It is a complicated feeling looking at such a place.

So far things are going okay, but I say that knowing that perhaps they will soon change again.  We are about to have our fourth child sometime this week.  Again things are always changing.  It is sometimes sad when you think about it never being the same, but also there are good things that may come.  We are believing for the best and trusting God for the rest.

Manna and Cana, the talkers

Manna and Cana sitting together while riding ANPANMAN shopping carts taken in 2010



Most of my posts have focused on Anna, the oldest daughter of ours.  The other two Manna and Cana have the same energetic blood running through their veins but express themselves differently.  While Anna loves to get physical with her energy these two love to talk and talk and talk. A day doesn`t go by when they don`t stop to ask a silly question or make up a silly story.  Manna especially loves silly stories.  For example, she will stop you and ask you to listen and then say that she had a dream (her way of referring to her imagination) of ponies flying and when they landed they all had daddy`s face.  Cana loves to repeat what she hears.  She will sing and dance around repeating what everyone else is saying in the room.  They are precious..up to a point when we have to settle them down or get them to turn down their volume. As you can imagine it is quite a lively scene when I arrive home from work.  All of them talking to me at once, all the while Yumi is trying to give the daily report of the day`s happenings and things needing to be done.

Both Cana and Manna are very good at articulating their feelings and thoughts a big difference from raising Anna. Anna barely spoke a word for years after moving to Japan.  My wife and I both feeling very sorry for her, since it was probably a shock for her to go from aEnglish to a Japanese speaking environment.  Though we tried to keep English as the home language.

So as I spend time with Manna and Cana I realize they respond and act differently using language as a form of play.  It requires me to engage beyond the typical dogpile and wrestling type parenting I am used to. I have to stop and think, and while most of the time it is overwhelming, I cherish it.  There may come a day when they say to me, "Dad I don`t want to talk about it..." or "You never listen to me" So for now I am investing as best as I can while trying to keep my sanity. 

All my girls love to sing and dance. But Manna and Cana will make your ears sore!

Watching Anna Grow

Took this photo at a studio we took the kids to almost two years ago.

My first born daughter has the advantage and disadvantage of being the first child to go through each developmental stage.  The advantage being that she has her parents full attention and focus, but the disadvantage being that we lack experience in the situation.

These days she is going to school and learning to listen to her teacher`s instructions and many times she forgets her assignments or doesn`t tell us what needs to be brought to school the next day, etc.  She is learning to focus her high energy and learn with by it and after a couple months it seems that she might be doing okay.  Of course all I really know is what she says and what her teacher writes down in her communication log which each student receives.  In Japanese it is called a Ren-Raku-Chou. （連絡帳）The entries are not daily, but are written at the discretion of the teacher when they want to share a concern or let the parents of a child know how things are going or possibly share a story from class about their child.



Apparently Anna`s teacher is quite strict and often doesn`t give her full marks on her assignments or homework.  Anna has a hard time with this being a very temperamental child who strives for perfection.  She cries often when she is not able to meet expectations that she puts on herself.  One time Anna had to practice writing the character よ and got so frustrated that she ran out of the house.  She didn`t return for quite awhile.  My wife became concerned and contacted me, but then Anna suddenly came home.  In fact she returned bearing gifts for everybody.  She had walked down to the market and with her own money gone and bought snacks and chocolate for everybody.  Of course Yumi warned her not to go out like that, but she couldn`t help but be moved that Anna would do something so sweet. She even chose the brand that her sisters and mom like.  It looks like she pays more attention to detail than we realized!



Anna`s grossed out after I caught a crawdad at the park with a stick and some squid for bait. I asked her if she wanted to hold it while I took a picture :)



Anna is showing us more and more that she can learn on her own and that she has a very sweet side behind her rambunctious, energetic, and sometimes harsh personality. I truly pray for her and wish her joy and happiness as she lives out her childhood.  She has endured so much from infancy and now she is growing into a fine little girl.

By the way she lost her two front teeth and it looks like more teeth are loose as well!

My Daughters are Not Wall Flowers

I came across this photo in my photostream on my Flickr account and it got me thinking about my children.  It was titled "Wall Flower" and I thought about the concept of a wallflower.  Still beauty or shy beauty certainly does not aptly describe my children.  They are constantly in motion bumping into things, running around, singing, jumping, playing doing about anything they can to get the attention they crave.

When it comes to the world outside,
they are not shy,
they are not well-behaved,
but they are to me, beautifully made.

I am surprised how easily they make friends and how their energy seems to be contagious to the other kids around them.  Some kids give energy and some require it to engage in play time.  My daughters are the stimulators, the first ones to go for the gusto, how they exhaust me and their mother.

Yet when I take a step back, I am amazed at the beauty of it all.  They are untainted and delicate, waking each morning to the world as pure children, unique in their ways. 

I only hope that as they develop that they learn to speak not only Japanese and English, but also that they learn to speak with wisdom and understanding.  I want them to understand the value of words and power of words. 

Eyes of those around them are watching them and when their time comes.  I hope they can share themselves in a way that is a blessing to those around them.

They might grow tired and sit down for a break, but they are far from your typical "Wall Flower".

Dinner in the Dark at McDonalds

 

As a result of the earthquake in Japan and the continued problems with restoring power, most places have significantly reduced their use of electricity.  Here is an example.  We went to McDonald`s tonight for dinner and the lights were out.  We thought it was closed but as we entered we saw people sitting in the dark and eating.  There was light by the register of course since they need power to run the register and cooking side of things.

It was a very interesting experience and a reminder of the situation we live in.  Conserving electricity is a major priority in Japan and it shows how willing people and businesses are to sacrifice convenience for the sake of others.

The video is dark and disorienting.  I took it for me so I can remember this time one day and for you readers so you can experience a little of what it is like in Japan for us.

Things are back to normal in a way, but still there is uncertainty lurking.  There are signs of the times that can either terrify you or make you thankful to be alive and well.

Back to Life...

It has been over two weeks since the BIG earthquake that changed Japan forever.  To know more see my other blog http://holyfirejapan.blogspot.com/

We have just moved house and are trying to get back to "normal" life, but it seems surreal.  Everything has changed, our home, our things, our entire situation seems to be completely different from two weeks ago.  We went to the park a few times and that helped ground fears and gave the children a chance to be themselves. 

Fear is hard on parents but even harder on children.  When our children see mommy and daddy rushing to get everybody huddled into a safe place for the next aftershock they see the reality that mommy and daddy are not in control and that we can be afraid too.

A lot of children can have trauma from an event like this.  We are praying that our children will not be affected in such a way.  We are doing our best to be safe, but also to try and get into a rhythm of life that is healthy again.  Having to ration food and water is not fun with children who do not understand why they have to save food for later when they are hungry now.

Let us hope for things to settle and for peace to return in the coming days and weeks.

Waiting for Spring

Well it is now March in Japan, and that means Spring is getting ever so closer.  Although recently it certainly does not feel like it.  The last couple months we have gotten little opportunity to play outside with the girls.  When they are outside, especially in the yard and playground behind our house it is a precious time.  When they are inside they tend to fight more over toys and what TV show to watch or are just a lot more fussy in general. 

My guess is that being inside, close to each other with limited space to run, dance, and play, causes both stress and irritation.  The girls are all free-spirited and strong willed in their own way and as soon as somebody steps on somebody else`s toes, the bell rings and the craziness begins. 

Another thing about inside activity for most of the day is the issue of boredom. This eventually leads to a lot of trouble making, as we all know;  I.E. tearing wallpaper, writing on the furniture, getting into cabinets, sneaking snacks, and tons of other types of mischief.  Being one person having three girls to look after, chores to do, meals to make, and many other motherly duties leaves my wife exhausted when I arrive home from work. 

This makes winter the hardest time of the year.  Getting the kids outside makes a huge difference in home life.  Being able to let the kids be messy and creative outside is a real joy.  They almost naturally cooperate with each other in that context.  I see one talk to the other about making something and then the other ask one to bring a tool to the sandbox and it`s like all of a sudden I feel like a "good" parent! LOL

So I guess what I want to say is that at times winter has its charm, but for a parent of three, I can`t wait for spring much longer! So let`s get on with it.

Turning the Page

Well, just one more month to go and we are in a new chapter.  Anna will be starting first grade in April. There a lot of preparations that still need to be done, clothes need to bought, and other various school supplies as well. 

The thing that I think I keep putting off is the mental preparation.  It hasn`t hit me yet...  I still cannot imagine it clearly.  My little girl, who I use to hold in one arm, will be going off to school all by herself.  Part of me is afraid to think about it.  The other part is shocked that we made it this far already.

Having three children keeps me busy, and I must confess that it is difficult for the oldest one.  They have a higher set of expectations placed on them and as a parent you lack the experience to guide them, because for you it is the first time too for everything.

My mistakes as a parent will ,no doubt, be apparent as my daughter enters school.  In Japan, school is serious business and I am far from serious when it comes to study myself.  I am confident in my daughter`s abilities, but fear for her weaknesses.  I can only hope and pray that she is able to engage herself and connect with good people.

As the time draws near and the page begins to turn, I feel my heart yearn for the time of her infacy, her precious little smile, and the look of joy and peace in her eyes as a new born babe, but it is passed.  We must go forward, despite our many failures and struggles, regrets and short-comings. 

We must turn the page and witness the events of the lives of our children, hoping to cherish it all, but weather the storm of parenting them through it all.

If you really want to see what you are a made of, taking care of three little girls will definitely teach you a thing or two!

Good Dad, Bad Dad

Got you, you little brat!

Some days being a dad is a blast! The kids enjoy being with me and I enjoy seeing them have a good time.  It brings me joy and I am inspired to be a better father and make the most of the years I have with my little children.

However, I must confess there are days I wish I could do over.  Days when I have to play the bad guy, when I have to raise my voice or punish, when I respond to their disobedience and bad attitudes by giving them a day filled with tears.

When I find out that bad behavior is going on and I try to find out the details, it turns into a dramatic situation.  It is kind of like when you watch a show on TV and the interrogation begins and you have the old good cop, bad cop routine going on.

I ask one, usually the crier "What happened?" and then move on to the culprit.  Asking the questions and demonstrating with angry gestures how mad I am.  e.g. ANGRY FACE, HANDS FLAILING, FOOT STOMP, etc.
Other times I will sit the culprit on my knee and talk to them sweetly and promise a reward for their change in behavior. An example being, "I know you did something wrong and I know you want to do the right thing, in fact, if you leave your sister alone and be good for the rest of the night I will bring you a treat home from work tomorrow."


The approach really depends on the situation, and I am sure I probably go against every book on "child raising" the way I parent.  Yet it works for now, and the more I see my girls mature the more I realize I need to modify my approach as well.

The key I think is growing together with your children, not trying to raise them perfectly.  If you stay flexible as a parent you will be able to understand your children and speak into their lives with more impact when the times comes.  Well that is my hope at least.

So again as I watch them go to sleep as I type this, I wonder what kind of daddy I will be tomorrow.  Good Dad or Bad Dad?  Recently I am little tired of having to play the bad guy...but somebody has to do it, right?

Fighting the Flu

Well that season has struck again.  Every year it comes around and knocks a week out of your life.  Flu season is in full force and has just finished sweeping through the girls` preschool.  Last week was almost like a second winter vacation, except for the VACATION part.  For my wife and I, it was a rough week. We were afraid we might end up with the flu but didn`t catch it as far as we know.  I had a fever at one point, but I guess it was just exhaustion.

When illness strikes our home, the everyday battle takes on a different form.  Instead of the usual hurding the children for meals and other scheduled events or settling them down and getting them ready for bed, it gets a lot dirtier as you could imagine; cleaning clothes, floors, wiping noses, etc. in a fight to maintain a sanitary, germ-free environment.

Not to mention the "worry bug" keeps biting you all throughout the night.  You suddenly feel a prick that wakes you up from your sleep to go check temperatures, breathing and make sure they are staying hydrated.  It`s more than a double shift, it`s almost a triple shift!!

Yet now that everybody has recovered, we are getting back to life as normal.  Sickness is a bummer, but for a parent there is no time to let sickness get you down.   In a way, it forces you to your limits and sometimes you find strength you never knew you had.

BOOST YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM & TREAT YOUR BODY NATURALLY!

Cute treats

One thing about Japanese, is they love cute things!  Cute sells here! Especially to children and parents. 

Recently my wife bought some donuts at Mr. Donut, she couldn`t resist buying the pink bear donuts for the kids.  I had to take a picture real fast before they were gone.  Needless to say, daddy didn`t get to taste them, but that`s okay...like I need the extra calories. 

Snack time in Japan or Oyatsu is around 3 o`clock in the afternoon.  It is a somewhat official time for young children to have a snack after coming home from school, or nursery.

And of course that is when the bakeries, snack shops, and other places open the windows to entice the children with fresh baked goodies.

But if you want to guarantee a sale, make sure your snacks aren`t just fresh but cute as well.

Most of time, we get the kids to have fruit for snack time as a healthy alternative.  However, if you live in Japan you know that fruit is outrageously expensive.  One apple will cost you about $1.20 and strawberries $5.00 a basket, and don`t even think about melon, you might have to break a $20.  The cheapest available fruit is banana.  Still about $1.50 a bundle.

So often we find ourselves going back to the cute treats...which in a way are the cheaper alternative...kind of...ENJOY!

Once in awhile

Most people on their days off relax, or go out and experience the world through dining, shopping, travel, or other varieties of leisure.

During winter vacation, my wife and I were able to get away from the kids for a day and enjoy those long missed activities.  The girls enjoyed the day at a nursery.  And WE had coffee, lunch and went shopping together and were able to talk.  I mean really talk, Uninterrupted for over 10 minutes.  It`s something you take for granted until you have children.

Every year or so we get an opportunity, to have a day like this.  How I wish we had more chances, but that`s all we can do.  I won`t even say how much it cost to have the kids watched, but it was worth it.  It`s okay every once in awhile. ;)

Always learning

One thing I can say about children, or at least about my children is that they want answers.  They ask a question and expect an answer, sometimes they are satisfied with mine other times they are surprised or disappointed.  Little children don`t need to use a textbook to learn about the world around them, they need interaction.  They need answers to their questions.

As a parent I have a role in supplying answers to my kids, but even I have a limit.  It is humbling to watch them on their quest to understand life and who they are.  So like them, I also need to be diligent in my attempts to learn, to ask questions, and to listen to those with authentic experience, those I trust.

Finding the right words is the big challenge I think for most parents, when it comes to answering their children`s questions, and for me I have to work on it in two languages. Yikes!!

No more Bento

Time goes by so fast when raising children.  We spend so much time and energy trying to get them from stage to stage, watching them grow, surprised when we realize that it`s almost ready for the next stage.  Anna has been going to preschool for three years and it will be just a few more months until she moves on to the next stage.

This last Friday was the last day we will make lunch for her this year.  It`s just one of those reminders about the everyday things you do, the routines you have with your children will come to an end.  It`s a relief but also brings the feeling of sadness.  Our sense of time as parents and their sense of time as children is different, but we both are experiencing these events together going through aches and pains together.  I think that is one of the most important words of family life "together."

Just another weekend

On Saturday we were out all day.  We went from place to place, in and out of the car and to stores and ended up at karaoke to finish out the day.  For dinner,karaoke, all you can drink,and eat ice cream it only cost about $30 for the 2 1/2 hours we spent there.  It is fun to watch them sing their hearts out and dance around the room.  It is such a physically demanding time as parents, but still so precious for them.  They can be little girls for only a short time. 

In Japan there is a lot of pressure on little girls at a young age to be a certain way.  Parents can be quite strict with their children`s behavior and I am strict too when it comes to certain disrespect, stubborn, and mean spirited behavior.  However, my philosophy is to enjoy my children first and then as teachable moments arise I try to give them the guidance they need.  I want my children to understand that my love, and my relationship with them is always there for them.  Even if I make them cry...I want them to always be able to return to me with "open arms."