The Wizard of Oz: Zion`s Last Undoukai

The Wizard of Oz, Zion Preschool Parent/Child Field Day

We are nearing the end of our life in Japan. In just a few weeks it will all be over. Everything familiar to us and the children will change when that plane lands.

One of the unique events in Japan as I have posted previously is Undoukai or the Field Day. At Manna`s preschool it is even more unique.  They have a story theme added to the day`s events and at the end one of the characters from the story shows up and they have a parade.  The children also dress up as characters of the story.  This year was the Wizard of Oz.

A quick snapshot of the food we brought for Manna`s Undoukai.

At the Undoukai it is tradition for families to eat lunch together usually in a picnic style outside, and usually lunches are homemade and have a lot of food for everyone. However, the little kids don`t eat that much so we made this much, and even that had plenty of leftovers.

Typically extended family members attend showing their support and cheering on the child in the number of competitve events held on that day. It was just Yumi and myself with kids though

We are certainly going to miss the little things like these events that have their own unique flavor and always leave us with a smile.

Growing Girls

The girls on the lawn by the outside food area at Costco, Japan

The girls are getting heavy, I carry them to bed sometimes and it really is getting difficult. They do more, eat more and energy seems to be unlimited. Meanwhile mommy and daddy are trying to recover our strength whenever we can get the chance. 

When they play together it feels like heaven, when they are fighting, or annoying one another and making messes it feels like a nightmare. Guess which one we experience more often.

All three girls are at different ages and different stages. It is quite difficult to manage and rarely do we have solo time with them to check on their "progress". The way mommy and daddy treat the group versus one on one is quite different. In a one on one opportunity we either discipline, encourage or instruct and this happens occasionally.  However, most of the time the girls are in the same room and it is somewhat hard to tell whether they are playing together or seperately.  Well unless somebody starts crying and the parents have to once again investigate. They go back and forth freely making a team of three and then two and then playing by themselves. It is like watching some sort of chemical reaction with a lot of energy being released.

The girls playing a pogo stick jumping game at an arcade in Yachiyo, Chiba

Just as they are growing I too feel like I am growing in my capacity as a parent and my understanding of the dynamics of raising children.  Growing children are always learning and teaching each other as well. Even if it is mistaken. Children enjoy teaching each other things and sometimes I have great joy in watching them tell each other stories or teach a song or dance to one another.  And isn`t that what life is all about?

"GROWING"



Matthew`s first month

Most recent picture of Matthew Yoshiya taken on July 28th, 2011

Well time flies when you have four children.  Matthew passed the one month mark a little over a week ago and he is starting to put on the weight.  He is now over 10 lbs and has a strong neck.  He gets a lot of stimulation from his sisters and recently has begun to make smiley faces and some happy sounds.

Newborn babyness is a precious thing, and Yumi and I both want to enjoy it the best we can.  Yet there is the hard side of it all, staying up late and Yumi breastfeeding or holding Matthew round the clock.  And don`t forget Cana is also breastfeeding too. 

There certainly is never a dull moment.  Those moments are called necessary rest breaks!

I was not able to be home for Matthew`s first month.  I was in the hospital (more details) and was not able to help with the kids.  Finally after two weeks I am feeling able to help where it is needed.  However I still need to be careful and not overdo it or I may find myself back in the hospital again.

Matthew is one month old and we hope that he stays healthy and strong in the months to come.  There are concerns over his tear duct which often is clogged and of course radiation is a major concern as well.

We are living in an area of Japan which is borderline safe.  It is not as bad as other hot spot areas in Chiba but it 4 to 5 times higher than the normal level.

But for us life continues on and we must cherish it while trying our best to be wise and safe with our children.

Manna, in her own world



Manna is the middle child and since being born has probably suffered the most out of all our children.  She had to have surgery to open her tear duct before she was even one year old.  She has suffered from asthma and was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia before turning two years old.  She has fallen down the stairs more than once.  She has fallen chipping teeth, scraping and bruising her very white skin more times than I can count.  Recently she had a bad accident and had to be taken in an ambulance to the hospital to stitch her Achilles heel. A week later she had chicken pox all over her face and her body. She still has a way to go to recover...

It has been hard to see her go through so much, she is still only 4 years old!  She sometimes prays for it to go away, or for her sisters that they won`t get sick or hurt like her.  The experiences of her life already have put her in an almost completely different world than other children. 

She is still silly and loves to dance and run around and jump on her daddy`s back.  Yet she knows real pain, real suffering for a four year old.  She has empathy from it already.  I hate to watch her suffer, but I hope that somehow it can be used and be a blessing to many.

She is growing in her understanding of her own world.  And with that understanding there is a special wisdom.  At times she can say the most encouraging of things even to me.  The other day she told me that she can give her best because she sees me try my best everyday.  She told me not to worry about her because she would give her best effort not to cry because she doesn`t see me cry even when it hurts.

Welcome to the Family-Matthew!

Last week we welcomed a new member to our family.  Matthew Yoshiya was born on Thursday morning in Japan.  We were both excited and relieved to see him and to know that he is healthy.  In Japan radiation is a big concern and he has a high risk of being affected by it.  We were told that he might have Down Syndrome or a birth defect during Yumi`s pregnancy according to a test she took.  Also Yumi has been exposed to radioactive water and other contamination after the Fukushima plant melted down in March, but we are yet to see any ill effects in Matthew.  We thank God that he is well and is home with us. 

Matthew now is going to be in the middle of a tug a war of attention.  All three girls want to hold and cuddle him.  We are definitely going to have to keep an eye on him and make sure the girls take good care of him.

Manna and Cana, the talkers

Manna and Cana sitting together while riding ANPANMAN shopping carts taken in 2010



Most of my posts have focused on Anna, the oldest daughter of ours.  The other two Manna and Cana have the same energetic blood running through their veins but express themselves differently.  While Anna loves to get physical with her energy these two love to talk and talk and talk. A day doesn`t go by when they don`t stop to ask a silly question or make up a silly story.  Manna especially loves silly stories.  For example, she will stop you and ask you to listen and then say that she had a dream (her way of referring to her imagination) of ponies flying and when they landed they all had daddy`s face.  Cana loves to repeat what she hears.  She will sing and dance around repeating what everyone else is saying in the room.  They are precious..up to a point when we have to settle them down or get them to turn down their volume. As you can imagine it is quite a lively scene when I arrive home from work.  All of them talking to me at once, all the while Yumi is trying to give the daily report of the day`s happenings and things needing to be done.

Both Cana and Manna are very good at articulating their feelings and thoughts a big difference from raising Anna. Anna barely spoke a word for years after moving to Japan.  My wife and I both feeling very sorry for her, since it was probably a shock for her to go from aEnglish to a Japanese speaking environment.  Though we tried to keep English as the home language.

So as I spend time with Manna and Cana I realize they respond and act differently using language as a form of play.  It requires me to engage beyond the typical dogpile and wrestling type parenting I am used to. I have to stop and think, and while most of the time it is overwhelming, I cherish it.  There may come a day when they say to me, "Dad I don`t want to talk about it..." or "You never listen to me" So for now I am investing as best as I can while trying to keep my sanity. 

All my girls love to sing and dance. But Manna and Cana will make your ears sore!

Watching Anna Grow

Took this photo at a studio we took the kids to almost two years ago.

My first born daughter has the advantage and disadvantage of being the first child to go through each developmental stage.  The advantage being that she has her parents full attention and focus, but the disadvantage being that we lack experience in the situation.

These days she is going to school and learning to listen to her teacher`s instructions and many times she forgets her assignments or doesn`t tell us what needs to be brought to school the next day, etc.  She is learning to focus her high energy and learn with by it and after a couple months it seems that she might be doing okay.  Of course all I really know is what she says and what her teacher writes down in her communication log which each student receives.  In Japanese it is called a Ren-Raku-Chou. （連絡帳）The entries are not daily, but are written at the discretion of the teacher when they want to share a concern or let the parents of a child know how things are going or possibly share a story from class about their child.



Apparently Anna`s teacher is quite strict and often doesn`t give her full marks on her assignments or homework.  Anna has a hard time with this being a very temperamental child who strives for perfection.  She cries often when she is not able to meet expectations that she puts on herself.  One time Anna had to practice writing the character よ and got so frustrated that she ran out of the house.  She didn`t return for quite awhile.  My wife became concerned and contacted me, but then Anna suddenly came home.  In fact she returned bearing gifts for everybody.  She had walked down to the market and with her own money gone and bought snacks and chocolate for everybody.  Of course Yumi warned her not to go out like that, but she couldn`t help but be moved that Anna would do something so sweet. She even chose the brand that her sisters and mom like.  It looks like she pays more attention to detail than we realized!



Anna`s grossed out after I caught a crawdad at the park with a stick and some squid for bait. I asked her if she wanted to hold it while I took a picture :)



Anna is showing us more and more that she can learn on her own and that she has a very sweet side behind her rambunctious, energetic, and sometimes harsh personality. I truly pray for her and wish her joy and happiness as she lives out her childhood.  She has endured so much from infancy and now she is growing into a fine little girl.

By the way she lost her two front teeth and it looks like more teeth are loose as well!

My Daughters are Not Wall Flowers

I came across this photo in my photostream on my Flickr account and it got me thinking about my children.  It was titled "Wall Flower" and I thought about the concept of a wallflower.  Still beauty or shy beauty certainly does not aptly describe my children.  They are constantly in motion bumping into things, running around, singing, jumping, playing doing about anything they can to get the attention they crave.

When it comes to the world outside,
they are not shy,
they are not well-behaved,
but they are to me, beautifully made.

I am surprised how easily they make friends and how their energy seems to be contagious to the other kids around them.  Some kids give energy and some require it to engage in play time.  My daughters are the stimulators, the first ones to go for the gusto, how they exhaust me and their mother.

Yet when I take a step back, I am amazed at the beauty of it all.  They are untainted and delicate, waking each morning to the world as pure children, unique in their ways. 

I only hope that as they develop that they learn to speak not only Japanese and English, but also that they learn to speak with wisdom and understanding.  I want them to understand the value of words and power of words. 

Eyes of those around them are watching them and when their time comes.  I hope they can share themselves in a way that is a blessing to those around them.

They might grow tired and sit down for a break, but they are far from your typical "Wall Flower".

Back to Life...

It has been over two weeks since the BIG earthquake that changed Japan forever.  To know more see my other blog http://holyfirejapan.blogspot.com/

We have just moved house and are trying to get back to "normal" life, but it seems surreal.  Everything has changed, our home, our things, our entire situation seems to be completely different from two weeks ago.  We went to the park a few times and that helped ground fears and gave the children a chance to be themselves. 

Fear is hard on parents but even harder on children.  When our children see mommy and daddy rushing to get everybody huddled into a safe place for the next aftershock they see the reality that mommy and daddy are not in control and that we can be afraid too.

A lot of children can have trauma from an event like this.  We are praying that our children will not be affected in such a way.  We are doing our best to be safe, but also to try and get into a rhythm of life that is healthy again.  Having to ration food and water is not fun with children who do not understand why they have to save food for later when they are hungry now.

Let us hope for things to settle and for peace to return in the coming days and weeks.

Waiting for Spring

Well it is now March in Japan, and that means Spring is getting ever so closer.  Although recently it certainly does not feel like it.  The last couple months we have gotten little opportunity to play outside with the girls.  When they are outside, especially in the yard and playground behind our house it is a precious time.  When they are inside they tend to fight more over toys and what TV show to watch or are just a lot more fussy in general. 

My guess is that being inside, close to each other with limited space to run, dance, and play, causes both stress and irritation.  The girls are all free-spirited and strong willed in their own way and as soon as somebody steps on somebody else`s toes, the bell rings and the craziness begins. 

Another thing about inside activity for most of the day is the issue of boredom. This eventually leads to a lot of trouble making, as we all know;  I.E. tearing wallpaper, writing on the furniture, getting into cabinets, sneaking snacks, and tons of other types of mischief.  Being one person having three girls to look after, chores to do, meals to make, and many other motherly duties leaves my wife exhausted when I arrive home from work. 

This makes winter the hardest time of the year.  Getting the kids outside makes a huge difference in home life.  Being able to let the kids be messy and creative outside is a real joy.  They almost naturally cooperate with each other in that context.  I see one talk to the other about making something and then the other ask one to bring a tool to the sandbox and it`s like all of a sudden I feel like a "good" parent! LOL

So I guess what I want to say is that at times winter has its charm, but for a parent of three, I can`t wait for spring much longer! So let`s get on with it.

Turning the Page

Well, just one more month to go and we are in a new chapter.  Anna will be starting first grade in April. There a lot of preparations that still need to be done, clothes need to bought, and other various school supplies as well. 

The thing that I think I keep putting off is the mental preparation.  It hasn`t hit me yet...  I still cannot imagine it clearly.  My little girl, who I use to hold in one arm, will be going off to school all by herself.  Part of me is afraid to think about it.  The other part is shocked that we made it this far already.

Having three children keeps me busy, and I must confess that it is difficult for the oldest one.  They have a higher set of expectations placed on them and as a parent you lack the experience to guide them, because for you it is the first time too for everything.

My mistakes as a parent will ,no doubt, be apparent as my daughter enters school.  In Japan, school is serious business and I am far from serious when it comes to study myself.  I am confident in my daughter`s abilities, but fear for her weaknesses.  I can only hope and pray that she is able to engage herself and connect with good people.

As the time draws near and the page begins to turn, I feel my heart yearn for the time of her infacy, her precious little smile, and the look of joy and peace in her eyes as a new born babe, but it is passed.  We must go forward, despite our many failures and struggles, regrets and short-comings. 

We must turn the page and witness the events of the lives of our children, hoping to cherish it all, but weather the storm of parenting them through it all.

If you really want to see what you are a made of, taking care of three little girls will definitely teach you a thing or two!

Good Dad, Bad Dad

Got you, you little brat!

Some days being a dad is a blast! The kids enjoy being with me and I enjoy seeing them have a good time.  It brings me joy and I am inspired to be a better father and make the most of the years I have with my little children.

However, I must confess there are days I wish I could do over.  Days when I have to play the bad guy, when I have to raise my voice or punish, when I respond to their disobedience and bad attitudes by giving them a day filled with tears.

When I find out that bad behavior is going on and I try to find out the details, it turns into a dramatic situation.  It is kind of like when you watch a show on TV and the interrogation begins and you have the old good cop, bad cop routine going on.

I ask one, usually the crier "What happened?" and then move on to the culprit.  Asking the questions and demonstrating with angry gestures how mad I am.  e.g. ANGRY FACE, HANDS FLAILING, FOOT STOMP, etc.
Other times I will sit the culprit on my knee and talk to them sweetly and promise a reward for their change in behavior. An example being, "I know you did something wrong and I know you want to do the right thing, in fact, if you leave your sister alone and be good for the rest of the night I will bring you a treat home from work tomorrow."


The approach really depends on the situation, and I am sure I probably go against every book on "child raising" the way I parent.  Yet it works for now, and the more I see my girls mature the more I realize I need to modify my approach as well.

The key I think is growing together with your children, not trying to raise them perfectly.  If you stay flexible as a parent you will be able to understand your children and speak into their lives with more impact when the times comes.  Well that is my hope at least.

So again as I watch them go to sleep as I type this, I wonder what kind of daddy I will be tomorrow.  Good Dad or Bad Dad?  Recently I am little tired of having to play the bad guy...but somebody has to do it, right?

Fighting the Flu

Well that season has struck again.  Every year it comes around and knocks a week out of your life.  Flu season is in full force and has just finished sweeping through the girls` preschool.  Last week was almost like a second winter vacation, except for the VACATION part.  For my wife and I, it was a rough week. We were afraid we might end up with the flu but didn`t catch it as far as we know.  I had a fever at one point, but I guess it was just exhaustion.

When illness strikes our home, the everyday battle takes on a different form.  Instead of the usual hurding the children for meals and other scheduled events or settling them down and getting them ready for bed, it gets a lot dirtier as you could imagine; cleaning clothes, floors, wiping noses, etc. in a fight to maintain a sanitary, germ-free environment.

Not to mention the "worry bug" keeps biting you all throughout the night.  You suddenly feel a prick that wakes you up from your sleep to go check temperatures, breathing and make sure they are staying hydrated.  It`s more than a double shift, it`s almost a triple shift!!

Yet now that everybody has recovered, we are getting back to life as normal.  Sickness is a bummer, but for a parent there is no time to let sickness get you down.   In a way, it forces you to your limits and sometimes you find strength you never knew you had.

BOOST YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM & TREAT YOUR BODY NATURALLY!

Making Time

I find that one of the challenges of parenting is making time to be with your kids.  I know I am with them taking care of them a lot of the time, but that doesn`t mean I am "making" time for them.

Most of the time I spend with my kids is far from organized or structured.  It has been that way for some years now, maybe it`s an age thing or I am just lazy.  In the past I have tried to settle the kids down and show them something or play with them in a structured way, a lot like my lessons at work.  However, I have found it difficult to keep their attention at home.  I have very little room to work in our little, undersized town house and with three little kids, it is hard to find a quiet spot to sit down and do a puzzle, or draw pictures, or practice the ABCs, etc.

This year, though, I really want to buckle down and try it again and see if the kids are ready for structured learning at home. I think making space and time is the important key factor.  Next is the discipline of creating a routine for that every week.  It`s worth a shot! Wish me luck.

This is my New Year`s resolution!

Once in awhile

Most people on their days off relax, or go out and experience the world through dining, shopping, travel, or other varieties of leisure.

During winter vacation, my wife and I were able to get away from the kids for a day and enjoy those long missed activities.  The girls enjoyed the day at a nursery.  And WE had coffee, lunch and went shopping together and were able to talk.  I mean really talk, Uninterrupted for over 10 minutes.  It`s something you take for granted until you have children.

Every year or so we get an opportunity, to have a day like this.  How I wish we had more chances, but that`s all we can do.  I won`t even say how much it cost to have the kids watched, but it was worth it.  It`s okay every once in awhile. ;)

Always learning

One thing I can say about children, or at least about my children is that they want answers.  They ask a question and expect an answer, sometimes they are satisfied with mine other times they are surprised or disappointed.  Little children don`t need to use a textbook to learn about the world around them, they need interaction.  They need answers to their questions.

As a parent I have a role in supplying answers to my kids, but even I have a limit.  It is humbling to watch them on their quest to understand life and who they are.  So like them, I also need to be diligent in my attempts to learn, to ask questions, and to listen to those with authentic experience, those I trust.

Finding the right words is the big challenge I think for most parents, when it comes to answering their children`s questions, and for me I have to work on it in two languages. Yikes!!

Just another weekend

On Saturday we were out all day.  We went from place to place, in and out of the car and to stores and ended up at karaoke to finish out the day.  For dinner,karaoke, all you can drink,and eat ice cream it only cost about $30 for the 2 1/2 hours we spent there.  It is fun to watch them sing their hearts out and dance around the room.  It is such a physically demanding time as parents, but still so precious for them.  They can be little girls for only a short time. 

In Japan there is a lot of pressure on little girls at a young age to be a certain way.  Parents can be quite strict with their children`s behavior and I am strict too when it comes to certain disrespect, stubborn, and mean spirited behavior.  However, my philosophy is to enjoy my children first and then as teachable moments arise I try to give them the guidance they need.  I want my children to understand that my love, and my relationship with them is always there for them.  Even if I make them cry...I want them to always be able to return to me with "open arms."